


Cursed Prince Curses Ill Luck

by quiet_or_die



Category: Saiyuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Nonbinary Character, The Cursed Princess Club AU, platonic friendship, we knew everyone in Saiyuki is cursed but now they really are cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22041514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet_or_die/pseuds/quiet_or_die
Summary: Sanzo leaves one annoying situation only to find himself in another, and thus he finds himself meeting some cursed royalty weirdos. As a prince with a curse himself, he may find out that these obnoxious people are just who he needed. . . .
Kudos: 7
Collections: Minekura Secret Santa 2019





	Cursed Prince Curses Ill Luck

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is a gift for Srija!
> 
> And the things I was told my giftee would like to see are:
> 
> 1\. Gojyo  
> 2\. Hakkai, Sharak, Sanzo, Kougaiji-tachi  
> 3\. Sanzo ikkou  
> 4\. Platonic friendship/fluffy feels, family dynamincs, etc.
> 
> And that they would like me to avoid are:
> 
> 1\. Gyokumen, Li Touten, Kanan  
> 2\. Explicit content
> 
> I have to say Gyokumen wormed her way in there in the paragraph about Kougaiji's background, and I apologize for that. I tried to throw her out but then thought that tiny bit of missing info would mean lead to some confusion and such. She only appears as a mention about events of the past, and there's nothing specific about her beyond she basically is power hungry and pushed Kou and Lirin out of their kingdom. That's basically it right there. My apologies none the less. 
> 
> I also have to say I struggled writing this. Initially I was going to go with a mafia/mob family type approach but everything I wrote would end up turning to the dark side. . . . I think the NITW Drabbles are the only just pure fluff I've ever written . . . all of the tooth-rotting fluff in my Saiyuki hospital au came sandwiched between really heavy themes and scenes and while the Wallet AU has fluff it is still . . . idk, not heavy quite but not quite sweet, fluffy feels. Anyway it happened that I got a Hakkai rper mun into the adorable webtoon The Cursed Princess Club just when I had started rereading it and was wondering if I could swing it Saiyuki style. Turns out, that mun also wanted to swing it Saiyuki style and do an rp verse for it. Thus, I decided to use that webtoon (which I highly, HIGHLY recommend) as my prompt. I gotta say, the dark stuff still made it in, but only in my background notes setting the story. 
> 
> A note on gender: In my hospital au I chose to use "ne" and "nir" for Kanzeon as I personally think those terms come with less preconceptions of gender than other terms. I also thought them fitting for her. For Sharak I talked to the lovely people on the Saiyuki Discord and decided to use "they/them." I am not non-binary myself, and really valued their input. (And value any further input anyone would like to give me.) I decided to make Sharak non-binary based on what she says in the manga: "Stop looking at me as a woman." Well, on that, and on the fact that non-binary people need more representation. Kanzeon in the Hospital AU was my first attempt at expanding from he/she pronouns and this is now my second attempt so please give me feedback. And let me know if I accidentally reverted to "she/her" for Sharak in this fic! I initially wrote this fic using female pronouns, and may have missed something when I decided to go back and change that.
> 
> I hope my story manages to capture even a fraction of the heart-satisfyingly-good-and-warm-and-wholesome characteristic that the webtoon has. And I hope my giftee enjoys it! (And I apologize for always having such long author's notes!)
> 
> The Cursed Princess Club webtoon is by LambCat and can be found at:  
> https://www.webtoons.com/en/comedy/cursed-princess-club/list?title_no=1537&page=1

Sanzo had just wanted _away_. He couldn’t tolerate another moment spent with the visiting royalty. Ukoku was bad enough, but Kami? How Sanzo was supposed to talk to that guy and refrain from violence was a true mystery. In reference to getting away though, where better to go than the supposedly cursed forest? No where, that’s where. He’s escaped here before—multiple times a week, actually—once he figured out that only Koumyou would ever follow him here. But . . . has this place always been here?  
In front of him looms a run down looking mansion, surrounded by a crooked fence. Anyone else would probably be spooked, Sanzo just glowers at it. A more curious or friendly person might go to knock on the worn double doors (that have certainly seen better days) as well, but the last thing Sanzo desires is a conversation with anyone at all—whether it be a person, ghost, monster, or something else entirely. So, spinning on his heel, he begins to stalk away. . . .

“Oi, just who are you, and what business do you have, lurking around my estate?”

There’s the click of a gun.

Sanzo turns slowly, projecting his intentions the whole way.

Behind him stands a person in a striped pantsuit, holding a pistol. The steady way they hold it, the ragged scars on their face (one below their eye on either cheek), and the unwavering look in their narrowed eyes all make it clear that they are a dangerous person, not to be taken lightly.  
Sanzo does not raise his hands in surrender but scowls openly back at them.

“I was just leaving.”

“Sorry, but I can’t just have you going and telling anyone about us.”

He manages not to roll his eyes, but only just.

“Like I’m going to start a conversation with anyone about some decrepit place like this.”

They stare at him a moment more, as unimpressed with him as he is with them. Then they smirk, and raise their gun to rest the side of the barrel against their head.

“Is that so? Well, welcome to my base. It’s not nearly as rundown on the inside as it looks from out front. Why don’t you come in and stay for awhile? I could use a drinking partner. I’m Sharak Sai Mine, Princess of the Agate Kingdom.”

“Sanzo, Genjo. Prince of the Amethyst Kingdom.”

And that’s how Sanzo finds himself inside the mansion he found in the cursed woods.

“Welcome to the headquarters of ‘The Cursed Royalty Club,’” Sharak says grandly as they sweep into the entry hall ahead of him. The inside really does look much better than the outside. It’s well taken care of and grandly furnished in the way Sanzo expects the mansions of fellow royalty to be.

“What kind of a name is that?” He grouses.

“Exactly what it sounds like. A club for those princes and princesses whose curses don’t get entirely fixed, or for whose curses have no known cures. Rather than stay hidden or locked up by their families, unfit as they are to represent their kingdom, princes and princesses alike can come here. This building is an old vacation home of my family’s, that I took over just for this purpose.” Sharak turns to him then, deadly serious. “I am the protector of both this place and the people who come here. _All_ who come here.”

“ ‘tch, do what you want,” Sanzo grumbles. He has an idea what they may be getting at and it only serves to irritate him.

“Ah, what I meant was, I set wards on this mansion and grounds, so only those with curses may enter. So you, Sanzo, must also be cursed, or you never would have made it to our front gate like you did.”

Sharak waits, but his scowl only deepens. And of course that only serves to amuse them.

“Ah, so ill-tempered. Well come in and have a drink.”

Before long they’re seated at a table in a beautiful backyard with sake and green tea. There’s a basket of fresh peaches as well. Sanzo notices the backside of the mansion doesn’t look run down at all, which is almost as odd as his adoptive father. He doesn’t deign to comment on it though. To his extreme surprise, Sharak is actually worth talking to. While they no longer represented their kingdom now, they had done so for a long time before choosing to found and run this club instead. Sanzo thinks that decision was a waste, personally. Then again, he doesn’t particularly care one way or another about “representing his kingdom” and can respect Sharak for deciding to create their own path. He doesn’t get to to talk to them long though, as it’s unfortunately as Sharak reaches for a peach and offers him one that all the troublesome people appear.

“Peach?”

They hold the basket towards him, and then a brown blur comes between where he’s sitting and where they’re sitting, and the next thing he knows there’s a brown-haired teen (or is it a monkey?) eating all of the peaches ravenously.

“Oh.” Suddenly the kid freezes mid chew, his brow furrowing.

“Blech.” He opens his mouth and lets the fruit drop out, much to Sanzo’s disgust. Sharak is busy laughing, and when they look up and see Sanzo’s face, they just laugh some more.

“Ew ew eeeeewwww ewewewewewewewewewewew.”

With frantic energy, the newcomer hurls the peaches away and grabs a napkin that he rubs against his tongue furiously, before he spots the pot of tea, at which point he throws the napkin on the ground and lunges for the pot, drinking right out of the spout. He probably manages to drink about half of it before he realizes how hot it is.

“HOOOOOT!!”

“Goku, you know better.” Sharak manages to say once composed.

“I forgot! I heard you say ‘peaches’ and they jes’ looked so good.” The kid moans.

“That’s Goku’s curse,” Sharak explains to Sanzo, even though he really doesn’t want to know, and is more than ready to leave at this point. “He ate from a sacred peach tree and the owner of the tree cursed him to always be hungry, and for all of his favorite foods to taste like mud. That was five years ago and yet he still tries eating peaches and dumplings.”

“Jeez, I don’t see what tha big deal even was! They’re peaches! Yer suppose ta eat them!”

As Goku complains, another idiot appears with a dumb smirk on his face that’s almost as stupid as the antenna sprouting out of his red hair.

“Oi, did the dumbass try to eat something he wasn’t suppose ta, again?”

“Shut up, stupid kappa!” Goku sticks out his tongue. “Only a frog will ever love you.”

“Why you—”

Sanzo and Sharak pick up their tea and sake cups as the tussle breaks out, threatening both the stability and sanctity of the table.

“So what, he’s cursed with antennae?” Sanzo asks dryly.

“And you’ve been cursed with a bad attitude!” The redhead shoots back with a sneer, before he’s distracted by Goku pouring a glass of ice water over his head.

“Ah, Gojyo was a bit of a playboy back in the day and broke the wrong girl’s heart. Now only on his 78,325th attempt will he find true love.” A soft-spoken man in green has appeared now. “It sounds more far-fetched than antennae would be, honestly. I’ve always wondered how she decided on such a specific number. . . .” After a moment wasted pondering this, he stretches out a gloved hand. “I’m Hakkai, of the Emerald Kingdom. I know it’s rude not to take off my gloves to shake your hand but well, it’s that or you’ll be suffocated by strangler vines.” His serene smile seems at odds with his words, but Sanzo shakes his hand without any misgivings.

“Sanzo, of the Amethyst Kingdom.”

“I see. It’s nice to meet you. Are you a new member of our club?”

“No.” Sanzo shoots that idea immediately, glaring at Sharak who holds his gaze steadily, and pointedly, as they drink their tea. If he thought that curt response would point an end to it though . . . it doesn’t. Instead, all movement stops as everyone focuses on him. And Sharak’s grin is definitely smug.

“Why not? You should.” Goku says, quite seriously. “You’re cursed after all ‘cause yer here. Ohhh, so what’s _yer_ curse? Wait don’t tell me.  
Hmm. . . .”

“Like I said, he’s cursed with bad temper.” Gojyo grumbles as he pulls out a chair and sits down at the table, uninvited.

“No, he’s not! . . . are ya?”

“No.”

“Hmm . . . cursed to never smile?” Hakkai guesses, tapping a finger against his cheek.

“No.” Sanzo’s scowl deepens.

“Ah, I got it! Yer cursed to never enjoy anything, ever.”

“No, I’m cursed to always find myself surrounded by annoying idiots.”

“Oh, that sucks.” Goku says simply. It’s only after Gojyo throws a balled up napkin at Sanzo and Sharak starts laughing again that he gets it. “Hey! That was mean!”

“What _is_ your curse then, Sanzo?” Hakkai asks, though he immediately frowns after the question and seems displeased with himself. “Ah, sorry. If you’d rather not say that’s alright. This is a safe space after all.”

Sanzo and Sharak both snort at that. Hakkai frowns at Sharak then.

“It _is_ a safe space.”

“Not from all of you, or your questions.” Sharak replies. Sanzo glowers at them. They had been the one to bring him out of no-man’s land and into the danger zone, after all. Sharak lifts an eyebrow and gives him a truly devious little grin. Before Sanzo can announce his intention to leave though, the peaches attract another wild beast.

“Peaches!”

A blur of orange hair later and a female teenager is eating the peaches with as much fervor and as few manners as Goku had. At least she doesn’t end up spitting them out. . . . She certainly makes just as much of a mess though.

“Lirin! _Ask_ before just taking something.” A man with maroon hair and large gold earrings appears, and this one Sanzo knows. Prince Kougaiji was of the Garnet Kingdom, a neighboring kingdom to Amethyst, and as Kougaiji had been slightly older than Sanzo, Koumyou often discussed news of the young prince with Sanzo. Prince Kougaiji had had everything, looks and brains and wealth, and been liked by all . . . until a stalker of his realized his love of the prince would never be returned, and Kougaiji was cursed to bear the resemblance of a demon: fangs, claws, and horns. His mother vouched for him and argued for his continuing to represent their kingdom, but she was in ill health and when she died Kougaiji’s father remarried, and the new empress had quickly ensured Prince Kougaiji became obsolete. Sanzo supposed Lirin was the child of the new marriage that had been mentioned. But only ever mentioned. The new empress wasn’t one to share power, even with her own blood. Perhaps especially not with her own blood. After admonishing his half-sister, Prince Kougaiji turned to Sanzo, his gaze wary and challenging.

“Prince Sanzo, of the Amethyst Kingdom.” Sanzo offers, greeting him as he’s greeted all of the other inhabitants of this dumb place (well, the ones worth greeting, anyway): like he’d greet anyone else. It’s not like he cares about their stupid curses. (Actually, Koumyou would say Sanzo has had much better manners with these members of royalty than he’s had for any one else. . . .)

“Prince Kougaiji, of the Garnet Kingdom. And my sister, Princess Lirin.” Respect has entered Kougaiji’s eyes, but his introduction is pointed. Sanzo ignores it and turns to Lirin . . . who is still stuffing her mouth with peaches.

“Hiya!” She waves.

Sanzo eyes her sticky hands and face and decides to nod to her instead of offering his hand. It’s not like she offers hers either.

Kougaiji joins them at the table, his every movement elegant and practiced. “Are you joining our club?” He asks Sanzo curiously.

“No.” “YES.” “He better not.” “It’d be nice if you would, Sanzo.” “We’re working on him.”

Comes the immediate chorus. Kougaiji and Sanzo both decide to ignore the majority of the voices.

“You’re still representing your Kingdom, aren’t you?” Kougaiji asks Sanzo.

Sanzo shrugs. “My father is insistent on it.” He personally couldn’t care less. In fact, he’d rather not do so, really.

“Hm. It must be nice to have his support.”

Sanzo doesn’t respond to that. Kougaiji’s look is much too knowing for one thing.

“You’d get more support if you join us, you know.” Sharak renters the conversation as they fill cups of tea for Hakkai and Kougaiji, then refill Sanzo’s. “We’d support you in what you choose to do, you know.” Her gaze is also much too knowing.

All these people who just met him and already think they know so much . . . it’s annoying.

“Not interested,” Sanzo returns tersely.

“Awww, come on. Why not?” Goku whines.

And that’s it. His patience has run out as quickly as his gun powder does. “Thanks for the refreshment,” he tells Sharak icily as he rises.

“Oh, leaving already? I’ll show you to the door then.”

“I don’t need an escort.” Sharak is unimpressed by the curl in his lip.

“Awww look, his first temper tantrum.” Hakkai’s lips press together and Gojyo immediately silences. Not that Sanzo sees any of that as he heads around the mansion, having no desire to go through the building where it’d be easier for them to corner him. Sharak keeps pace with him, having apparently decided an escort is indeed called for, but that’s not nearly as annoying as being trailed by Goku and Lirin who keep asking him why he doesn’t want to join. The rest of the Cursed Club trails further behind, talking in undertones to each other.

“Will you make them go away,” Sanzo mutters to Sharak.

“I can’t _make_ any of them do anything.”

“What’s the point of being president of the club then?”

“To give them a place that they can do anything they want to.” Comes the stern reply. These people make no sense. And Sanzo knows, he knows he’s spent too long here. It never takes more than an hour or so for the curse to kick in. He also knows that there is no Koumyou to step in, and, apparently, no rules of etiquette keeping these people on their best behavior. These people aren’t going to stop, and he doesn’t want to run back to Koumyou, trailing them all, unable to deal with them on his own. So upon reaching the front lawn, Sanzo whirls on them all and tries to get a real answer from them. _“What do you want from me?”_ He snarls. It’s creepy how everyone blinks at him in unison and then turn to look at each other.

“We just want you ta join the club.” Goku says slowly, like Sanzo is stupid or something.  
(“As long as you keep actual attendance to an hour once a week,” Gojyo mutters under his breath.)

And that doesn’t make sense . . . but it also doesn’t seem like the kid is lying. But even if it’s the truth, there’s always _more_ after that initial desire. All he has to do is agree to this first demand, and the real desires will march in.

“Fine.”

“Really!?”

They beam at him.

“Quite a few of us live here, but as a club we only have a real activity about once a week.” Hakkai tells him, smiling serenely. “The activity for this week will be on Thursday at 15:00.”

And then . . . they disperse. With waves and self-satisfied grins. Even Gojyo gives him a wave, though it’s a lazy, single movement.

And then only Sharak is still beside him.

“What do you want then?” He asks the President tiredly.

“Well I was making sure you left without any problems, but now that you’re a member of my club, I’m just here to see you safely off.” And they hit his shoulder with their fist in a show of camaraderie or something.

He doesn’t move.

“That’s your curse, huh? People won’t leave you alone till they get whatever they want from you? That explains why you never leave your Kingdom for any acts of diplomacy or anything. It must be quite difficult.”

Sanzo doesn’t say anything.

“That really is all any one here wants you know. Well, from you specifically. We all have desires, but when we see you, the only thing any of us care about is that there’s someone else trying to deal with their curse on their own, like an idiot.”

Sanzo doesn’t believe them, but, obnoxiously, he doesn’t _dis_ believe them either.

“See you Thursday then.” Sharak tells him as he begins walking down the path that will lead him back out of the woods.

And the most irritating thing of all is that he realizes Sharak’s not wrong, they _will_ see him Thursday. For some dumb reason or another, he actually wants to come back.

(If that makes him smile at all on his way back home, all that’s left when he leaves the shadows of the trees is his customary scowl. But that’s no one’s business except his own.)


End file.
